WHAT DO YOU FEAR?

What do you fear? Disappointment? Insects? Elevators? Abandonment? Darkness? Zombies? Being different? Needles? Bad reputation? Disorder? Sharks? Bright colors? Cockroaches? Growing up? School? Heights? Leeches? Decisions? Losing loved ones? Public speaking? Misery? Spiders? Doctors? The future? Clowns? Ridicule? Sickness? Bats? Being kidnapped? Vomiting? Sexual abuse? Marriage? Isolation? Styrofoam? Conformity? Natural disasters? Traveling? Losing your memory? Being unappreciated? Not being good enough? Being hated? Commitment? Losing rights? Betrayal? Vacuum cleaners? Dreams not coming true? Taking risks? Rabies? Escalators? Blindness? Vulnerability? Social situations? Enclosed spaces? Monotony? Trusting? Condemnation? Self-imperfection? The government? Wild animals? Being stared at? Not reaching potential? Childbirth? Mummies? Strangers? Breaking your heart? Cats? Losing respect? Pregnancy? Appearing weak? Falling? Unstable life? Moths? Calories? Self-destruction? Being underestimated? Men? Not losing weight? Rain? New technology? Food poisoning? HIV/AIDS? Ladders? Dentists? Tapeworm? Loneliness? Dogs? Being nobody? Chemicals? Not reaching goals? Poverty? Being forgotten? Reality? Bad breath? Fish? The ocean? Wood-ticks? Bad odors? Fire? Intensity? Demons? Sunlight? Unstable structures? Sex? Large crowds of people? Not being loved? Bellybuttons? Easter bunny costumes? Germs? Woods? Crabs? Judgement? Being without your phone? Graves? Religion? Heat? Losing freedom? Being abducted? The stomach flu? Intimacy? Answering phones? Weapons? Sleep? Relationships? Newness? Ghosts? Love? Water? UFOs? Dolls? Being stranded? Snakes? Blood? Mosquitoes? Cancer? Foreigners? Planes? Forgiving? Heaven? Being buried alive? Rejection? Women? Hospitals? Doubt? Frogs? Obesity? Rape? Car crashes? Blushing? Diseases? Letting go? Being owned? God? Coldness? Being touched? The unknown? Medications? Nudity? The number 13? Poison ivy? Bridges? Dancing in public? Injustice? Hell? Dying? Birds? Swallowing? Failure? Pain? Aging? Dirt? Radioactivity? Wasting your life? Change? Loud sounds? Shadows? The house burning down? 

Sometimes, my fear paralyzes me. It takes far too long to convince myself to get up and dressed. I hide, because I am familiar with pain and I cannot bear the humiliation. Somedays, it eats at me and I feel nauseous. I don't want to be afraid anymore. Afraid to be vulnerable, to be weak. Afraid to be ugly, let people see, let God come closer. Afraid to let people hear me sing. Afraid to try, because I might not make it. Afraid to desire God's will for me, because last time when I surrendered to His will, it brought me pain that I can still feel. At the same time, I know His will is perfect, I trust Him, and I am learning that it is good to fear God, that the fear of God brings life.

"So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand."

-Isaiah 41:10