OVER, SURROUNDING, BENEATH

His tender mercies are over all His works:

{Psalm 145.9}

Steadfast love surrounds him who trusts in the Lord:

{Psalm 32.10}

Underneath are the Everlasting Arms:

{Deuteronomy 33.27}

ELLIOT

"Some years ago there was a series of letters to columnist Ann Landers on the subject of men who snore. Wives wrote in complaining of the countless hours of lost sleep and the irritation of that awful noise beside them in the bed. Others wrote offering solutions, but the discussion came to an end with one letter, 'Snoring is the sweetest music in the world. Ask any widow.'
How often I have sat in a roomful of people and heard a wife contradict, criticize, belittle, or sneer at her husband before the rest of the company and I have with difficulty restrained myself from leaping from my chair, going over and shaking that woman by the shoulders and saying, 'Do you realize what you've got?'

She doesn't.
She hasn't my perspective..."

 Elisabeth and Valerie, soon after Jim's death.

STRUCK

As the train skidded across snow covered tracks to Grenoble, I pressed against the glass, scanning the white valley, seemingly endless, speckled with bent forests curving along the rails. Breathlessly, the valley slowly built, creating hills and soon, broke altogether into a mass of rock. Such distant heights; untouchable, but there, and I was awake this time... no more dreaming, these mountains could breathe.
Driving through the gorge to camp, the mountains laughed and mimicked with proud chins snagging the edges of the blue between the clouds. The silent joy felt in my soul was twin to the swollen river beside the road we traveled. Arriving, we were greeted by a soft enchantment, as the arched trees stooped and the stone faced chalets were laced in white. 
Between the mountains here, there is a winter solitude. The lonely is felt if you're not too careful. There is a prompting, a gentle urgency of God's jealous love that has asked me to rest in this stillness. Such a different pace than my autumn life.
Here, I follow the steep road climbing the heights, to catch the sun pouring against the pointed crest. Often, I sit on my windowsill, dangling feet, taking in the perpetual motion of frost and thaw that paints across the cliffs and thickets. When I sit beside the coal charred stone of the fireplace after scouring sinks and windows, my thoughts travel; creativity bleeds in black ink.
Saturday mornings at the market town of Bourg d'Oisans, just below camp; watching the colors of people bustling and trading, I'll wander and see things I will choose not to forget. Like the stranger, pipe in mouth, knee high boots taking confident strides in the cobbled alley, and the gray tufts jutting from his tweed cap.
There is a stairwell in the middle of the grand chalet, and when Caleb and Allison are away, I sneak there to tell stories and spin them into songs. I've been caught a few times now, and I think I should find a new place.
Training is exhausting, but I will continue to tie my shoes to my feet and jog up those sloped roads.
Just as I will continue to wrap myself in the promises of God and walk heavenward,
Thunder in my heart,
m

REMEMBERING

A year gone by.

Gypsy photo-shoot with a peacock and fairy.

St. Croix plunge on St. Patrick's Day: numb numb.

Laying in the snow before work: renewing.

An early spring to train.

Road-trip to Chicago with Jess; our talks.

Working out in the 80's room.

Cake war at Steak N' Shake on Joh's 19th.

Table hiding to grab stranger's ankles. 

Embracing artistic style; revelation. 

Class under the giant, knotty tree, now gone.

The alley with Grace.

Bathing in mud-puddles.

Teaching art to my red-heads.

Nate's picture of me going mad between the volcano and twisters.

Interning at YEAH Academy: answering endless questions from homeschool moms. 

The parking lot dance.
Two art classes; good talks. 

Climbing lilac trees to catch the sunset.

Peeking in windows with Bronte.

Laughing with B.

The night Blaine and Aharon threw together a pancake party, and we fell asleep around the fire.

Training in new employees.

Pranking the new employees.

Volunteering as an actress: The Dining Room. 

Long walks to memorize lines.

Grace and Riah's 'A Streetcar Named Desire'.

Barefoot walk at sunrise, the white house on the hill, the dry field, the gravel road. 

Getting lost with Bronte; an hour away from our destination.

Singing to the dishes.

Tanning at Carver with Marissa.

Voice lessons from Mrs. Sager with Bri.

Meeting Blue at the Humane Society.

Co-hosting Night of the Arts.

Blue Gatorade in a Windex bottle.

Secret spy club with Josh, Micah, Ayla, and Danielle.

Aharon's challenge.

Catching as many sunsets as I could, on foot.

Chemical scare and insanely hormonal drive to the hospital and back with Joe, James, and Will.

Treasure hunting with the Gramers.

Forts under tables with Ayla before church: cardboard masks making us robots.

Farkle with Grandma and her rules.

Roadtripping in a sleepy vehicle to Texas.

The Vincent's.

Frog-catching with Micah.

Vanilla pudding in a mayo jar.

NASA's space ship, fireworks, and laser tag in one night.

Showing off my ram's horn and the dead cow that came out.

Longboarding to H.E.B.

Devotions on the patio furniture at the grocery store.

Jumping across the swampy creek, but falling instead.

Arguing with Mr. Know-it-all.  

Sun-bathing and talking to God at the dock with Joh.

Painting faces.

Resting at the creek.

Melody.

Tenting in backyards.

Shaving cream wars.

The night I was absurdly scared.

Chasing waves and counting palm trees at Galveston.

Late night dread-locking.

Duet with Bekah in the Pratt's echoing house.

Skinny dipping on a private lake with lurking Water Moccasins and Huckleberry boys.

Heartache, jars of tears.

Skate-boarding with Johnathan.

Biking on country roads from family to family.

Pretending to live at IKEA.

Covering 'The Lonely' with Aharon.

Stealing into the dark to longboard.

Walking the Ravine after work to talk with God.

Dumpster with Joh, reading Song of Solomon.

By the night-shores with Joh; precious renewal.

Counting cars with Holly from the grassy hill.

Threadlessly escaping a car accident; sobbing and sobbing.

Joanna's soccer game in the rain and writing back to a stranger.

Miserable MOA trip. Drama.

After dusk, overlooking the Mississippi, by the Caves.

Indian soul, skipping rocks with an angel.

Bonfire souls smoke song.

Blood brothers.

The fields of growth, hearts alive in the Word.

Watching Goliath-sized spider's weave.

That horridly awkward dance with the thief.

Football before the movie begins, between the cars of the outdoor theater: foolish really.

Drive-in intermission, arms like wings, racing, flying.

Biking the scenic route home.

Idiot dancing in backyard.

The desire to punch co-worker for lusting over Joh.

Unnerving questions in the Frisbee Golf forest.

Church potluck, watermelon, peeking into antique automobiles. 

Waiting and waiting to say goodbye, Bibles open, hearts alive.

The lonely cove with God.

Chocolate milk traditions with Joanna.

Kitchen cabinets, blood puddles, broken noses, laughing nurses and doctor.

Feeling ugly, humbled; a new beauty.

Walking around Como after small group with Aharon.

Letter on my desk, unrecognizable handwriting, France-sent.

Pondering with God at Starbucks.

Walking until feet are bruised, sitting atop a hill until dark spills over.

Sleeping in the tall grass.

Fooling Jake that my made-up language was authentic.

Unicorning with Natalie and Bekah.

Window escape to sit by the moon with God.

Tracing the outer ridge of the corn field with feet.

Breathlessly watching wild horse graze.

Watching the sun's dust snag the edges of the wood; standing in awe.

Running half a marathon to small group.

A hollowed tree; bird's castle, and lonely chair of a royal beside the gravel road. 

Being called 'Tomahawk' by my boss (a.k.a. Chief Umamoon) and 'Mo' by my co-workers.

Trapped in a lake, clothes stolen from drooping boughs.

Accents on the drive-thru.

That night walk with Katie; sneaking around Culvers; answering questions.

 'No trespassing' sign's temptation.

Breathless wonder at the yellow hills.

Painting mountains by candlelight with pinecones.

Wide sheets of blank paper to fill in the park.

Itching all night, while Hobo-ing it in Highlands.

Splurging on pickles at Pot-belly's.

Afternoon with Bronte in the Como Conservatory and lake.

Longboarding to a summer class. 

My view between two pine trees and the vivid green transparency of the vining leaves; where God said.

Surprised by Toy Story cupcakes from Chief Umamoon.

Balloons, birthday suits, and pond swims with my little sisters.

Bonhoeffer.

Grandparent's 50th Anniversary.

Bathroom talks with cousin, Katie. 

The book of Ruth in the Target cafeteria.

Sitting under a tree, laughing with a new friend over the phone.

Ninety-nine cent drinks at the gas station.

Batman marathon with some favorite people.

The night they tried to teach me poker.

Ulysses.

Revealing talks around the Borner's counter with three Gramers and Zeke.

Reuniting with Janie and Victoria before summer's end.

Waltzing for hours in Half-Priced Book's aisles.

Walking passed the little white house on the hill with Caleb.

Following the railroad tracks for hours with God.

Chasing the Myles, Sawyer, Addison, Johnny, and Ashley around their yard, eyes full of imagination.

Singing more.

Saving an unopened letter until alone atop a hill in the rain.

Laying in a field of cotton and crying.

Quietly laying outside the closed door to listen to John play the bagpipes. 

Losing every game of Settlers that ever was.

Lunch break; apple cores, an eighty cent tomato, Psalms.

Sunsets out the drive-thru window.

Grasshoppers made golden in the summer sunset. 

Secret waterfalls revealed. 

Sitting on the rock-shore with God, feasting on the two moons, one above, one below.

Losing time in the garden near Alban's Street.

Touring the Crane House, falling in love with the crumbling walls. 

Priming and painting the sweaty attic, rewarding myself with breaks by checking for his texts. 

Welcoming Katie and Blaine back from France.

Nikki's Happy Birthday song with Katie.

Staring at Joyce's flowers flooded in golden sun, until my eyes were full.

Sketching mountains with charcoal on firepits.

Christmas lights strung from trees, bonfire bleeding smoke, songs beautifully; Bice's backyard.

Gloomy-skied day canoeing twice down the Mississippi. 

Following Blaine and Aharon around the horse's meadow, swinging on three trees.

Bright day, Dad's hat, Willow River, good friends; God with me.

The white dress freak out.

Exploring Minneapolis with Brianna, Laurissa, and Katie.

Standing underneath the power of a waterfall. 

The ancient time capsule and log to share truths with Maria.

Accidentally punching a masked zombie in the Haunted House.

Watermelon carving at a booth; 'Go Katy! Go Katy!'

Grandma and her resolve to go down the Giant Slide.

After dark, sitting, eyes blurred, watching the carousel's glory.

Visiting Sandra at Subway.

Throwing away my white-collared, yellow stained button-ups.

Spilling words to Bronte at Starbucks.

Packing the trunk with my belongings; moving away.

Exploring the city on foot, eagerly.

The eccentric men with their odd requests.

The handpicked flowers that said, "I miss you already."

Traveling into the past at the hangar, everyone dancing in clothing from the 20's.

The stairwells where we'd talk.

Bailey.

Wet hugs; Johnathan and Rebekah's baptism.

Under the willows with Katie and Bekah.

Cooking ten batches of Gingered Carrot Soup; hands stained for weeks.

Devotions with Nicole Thursday mornings.

Celtic prayer week; morning, midday, and evening.

A loaf of emotional bread; party in the apartment.

Tuesday laughs.

The freak out at George's surprise party.

Alleyways for sun to cry through.

College fairs with Georgia.

Northwestern's island with Janie; the lake breeze, long hugs.

MIA with Bronte; ignorant intelligence on purpose.

The saxophone player in the alleyway.

Downtown farmer's market.

Monday's Sabbath; Bible, tea, guitar, songs, poetry. 

Creating ambiance for the community meals Wednesday night.

Hosting a birthday party and art openings.

Re-painting the gallery walls.

Dams, vacant gas stations, and silos with Pacific See.

Eric and the red tomato.

Story-telling and laughing in the car after teaching.

Yahtzee at the Nursing Home; Bill's smirks.

Night-stroll with Rose at the Isles; inspired and thrilled.

Sitting on the brick wall with Charyl.

The night Rebekah slept over; laughing until 3am.

Perusing Treehouse Records and feeding ducks with Amy.

Driving to Cambridge with Charissa, meeting her people.

Charissa's car breaking down in an intersection; the kind man who helped.

Georgia and I warming ourselves by keeping the oven door ajar.

Abbie's marathon; inspiring.

Hanukkah with Donna.

Helping Carla teach Acting I; student's potential burning.

Stories at the candlelight vigil.

The Canada Geese song on my runs.

Answered prayer in a plaid jacket.

The gentle eyes of Matthew.

The Ladies Society: dear, precious friends.

Morning with Maria and Mariah; constant laughs.

Grace's visit to my attic; our prayer.

Spyhouse Coffee with Dad.

Kenni Rae's text; Brent's kindness to hire me on the spot.

Housewarming party; Rose's flowers to dry and a cow to display.

Eucharisteo begun; new living.

 Counting crows on my way to work on Hennepin Avenue.

Walking and walking around the block; listening to Caleb's stories.

Being known as 'Maria' by my boss and co-workers.

Lavender daisy caught in my bike pedal.

Playing with Harlow Emery.

Those car-rides with Katie and Emma.

Attic visits from Charissa.

Breakfast and encouragement with Lizzy.

Jazzy sing-a-longs with Crystal.

Late night chats and cries with Georgia.

The freak out at the airport.

Meeting Caleb.

Lyndale Avenue's French Meadow.

Stagg's front porch, golden vines; beauty.

Watching the geese from the hill; quiet.

Berglund's hospitality.

Restrung guitar.

Bethel tour.

Open Eyes; Katie's heart given on the bathroom floor surrounding my tears.

Biking to the willow tree. 

Movie reel at the airport.

A day with Bella and Doc.

Biking home; God taking away the pain.

Kicked out of the Crane House, moved to apartment.

A day with Janie; staining the kitchen floor with jazz moves.

Stopping by the lake before work to refresh.

Setting up foodshelf.

The Stumbo's music.

Biking to the Gamaches; those talks.

The grace and love of my house church.

Stacking wood.

Wabasha Street and Raspberry Island.

Poppler taking my Saturday shift.

Bonfire and tornadoes.

Dancing to Taylor Swift on the kitchen floor with Amber.

Maddy's creativity and chill encouragement; her way with God.

Georgia's mom.

Dying hair with Jess.

Last bit of light before climbing onto plane.

 Sharing with Kia, simple words.

Catching Rody and Anna Kate in shark teeth; laughing.

Bonfire of thankful hearts.

Kaitlyn's fat suit.

Caleb's music.

The black night, where I feared she'd die in my arms.

Capturing the snow; meeting the new father.

Kamp's enthusiastic talks and unique music.

Sean and Tara's listening.

Stories at the woodstove, late laughter, morning shoot with Grace and Rose.

Maria and Rose; Starbucks, gumballs, Eddie Bauer.

The humiliation of African dance.

Holly's heart and our walk to the Isles.

Katie's visit; our deep talk and laughs.

Laughing with Maddy and Ezra; listening to them laugh.

Salsa dancing at Bar Abilene dressed as a polka girl.

Elise's dance in those moose slippers.

Beauty in her face, my dear friend, as we talked in the car.

Watching the Christmas classics with Laura.

Skating to the island with Georgia and her friends.

Caroling ten stories of halls.
Banana split at 'Bad Waitress' with B.

Rose's church; understanding a new depth.

Package of thoughtfulness.

The goodbye party; saying goodbyes; breaking.

Moving home.

Blades on ice, halo around the moon on Christmas Eve.

Candles to read by in snowbank.

Wisconsin visitors; ice, wax, homemade lattes, rolling on the kitchen floor.

My friends in the kitchen at Green Mill.

Becky's kindness; cake and lilies.

The climax of the Packer vs. Viking game at the bar; laughing laughing.

The Pratts at the airport, their joy and beauty.

Having Joh here.

The night we had a party that almost collapsed the walls in.

Blaine's words on New Year's.

I am thankful for 2012.

All that I have learned, all that God has brought me and taken away.

I'm thankful for another year, now begun; Soli Deo Gloria!

MA AND PA

WHEN I LIVED IN THE APARTMENT ABOVE THE FALLOUT

I am sore.

I don't mind so much that my body rings with aching, but my mind. An icy fog has claimed it and I want to think clearly, but it hurts. My thoughts are blocked, left unpried, unwon to discovery and feeling, I cannot let them loose, cannot free them to speak. The white and black faces of the piano keys smirk at me, shrouded by deep hued, Wesley wood. Maybe if I knew how to play, or even if I didn't and I was alone in this apartment, I could sit at the wood-chipped bench and touch those bells, sewing songs that somehow capture a patchwork of the engulfing thoughts drowning my head. My hair is loosely piled on my head, untamed as ever. The gas fireplace to my right is blue and shadowed, dead and cold. Straight ahead, the tall window facing the rooftop, is a picture of glitter powdering from above in thin streams through sunlight...

SPEAK

'Therefore, behold, I will allure her, and bring her into the wilderness, and speak tenderly to her'

Hosea 2:14

"THIS MORNING WITH HER, HAVING COFFEE"

Johnny Cash replied, when asked for his definition of paradise.