ANTLERS

Me, I am two;
two halves,
two wild deer, 

two heads at war. 

Antler's a mess, 

caught and tangled,

bloody bones.

Two deer, but only 

one

can move on. 

SKIP TO MY LOU

Thursday.

1. I woke up too late to feel good about the day. I blame my vivid dreams for making it difficult to entangle myself from sleep. At the same time, I wish I hadn't dreamt last night.  

2. I lay in the late morning sunlight spilling onto the living room carpet and read an article called The Kind of Person God Uses, by Walter Henrichsen. This paragraph spoke loudly: "All that you hold dear to yourself--your family, your health, your dreams, your aspirations and goals--must be held with an open hand. If you desire to fulfill God's will for your life irrespective of the price, the sum total of all that makes up you must belong to Jesus Christ. He must be free to do with you and take from you as He pleases. You need not open your hand to God with a sense of fear, for God loves you with a perfect love and has your best interest at heart. But having said that, the faithful person is one who is willing to pay any price to have the will of God accomplished in his life." Pg. 12

3. As I ran the gravel, following the road to my cousin's, over and over I was overcome by the flooding fields, the scarecrow forests, the blue sea above my head, the gentle undertones of cow manure in the breeze, and the sun pouring onto my back. God you did good; Wisconsin is beautiful.

4. Bri, my-cousin-who-is-really-more-of-a-sister, taught me how to make quiche and homemade ginger ale. Both incredibly elegant and simpler than you'd ever dream, well simpler aside from shredding the ginger root. 

5. After the quiche and ginger ale, Bri, Barrett, and I took the dogs into Kinnickinnick where we followed the river between the thicket and fallen trees, bouldered a small falls of icicle and river, breathed deeply the crisp air scenting of pine, and spun in the dusk that spread itself out gracefully across the hay field until we tumbled over in laughter. What is better than good friends, big dogs, mud up to your knees, and a wilderness? 

6. Blaine, my-cousin-who-is-really-more-of-a-brother, is getting married in a little over a month to an incredible woman. This afternoon, he and Aharon, my big brother and also the best man in the wedding, went tuxedo shopping and tried on their tuxes (and Bri, her floral violet dress) for my aunt and I--and suddenly! seeing the three of them, the three people who have been knit into my life always... it swept over me; the reality of how life is changing, how we are all growing up and how many beautiful (and perhaps heartbreaking) things that are to come. It was deeply felt, a bittersweet, and they were beautiful; radiant. I am so thankful for them. They will never know.

MRS. CASH

Happy Birthday Princess,
We get old and get used to each other. We think alike. We read each others minds. We know what the other wants without asking. Sometimes we irritate each other a little bit. Maybe sometimes take each other for granted. 
But once in a while, like today, I meditate on it and realize how lucky I am to share my life with the  greatest woman I ever met. You still fascinate me and inspire me. You influence me for the better. You're the object of my desire, the #1 earthly reason for my existence. I love you very much.
Happy Birthday Princess. John

SPIRIT OF A COWBOY

"The best people possess a feeling for beauty,

the courage to take risks, the discipline to tell the truth,

the capacity for sacrifice. Ironically, their virtues make them vulnerable;

they are often wounded, sometimes destroyed."

-Ernest Hemingway

WHOM HAVE I IN HEAVEN BUT YOU?

"Whom have I in heaven but you?
And there is nothing on earth that I desire besides you.

My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength

of my heart and my portion forever. 

For behold, those who are far from you shall perish; you put an end to everyone who is unfaithful to you. But for me it is good to be near God; I have made the Lord God my refuge, that I may tell of all your works."

In France, this was the song I sang in the earliest hours of the morning, when the tears poured out. It was the song I sang when I escaped to the stars, the stars that looked like the dusty kiss of soul some people carry in their eyes. I sang it to myself when my lungs were filled with fire and I ran up the winding mountain road. It was the song I sang when I stood beneath the wolf moon at the painted cliff surrounded by His majesty. It was my song when I followed the moss river until I collapsed, surrendering to His will. 

I listened to this today. Piper speaks a chilling truth. A truth that I can vouch for. 

Listen.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PTc_FoELt8s

COMING SOON

I've had an itch to tackle this project for two years: to create a series of art pieces based around natural disasters. 

Volcanoes, lightningstorms, tornadoes, avalanches, earthquakes, landslides, floods, hurricanes, tsunamis, wildfires, droughts, meteors, dust bowls, windstorms, blizzards, cyclonic storms, hailstorms, heat waves, solar flares...

Wish me luck.

RESONATE

"And then her heart changed, 

or at least she understood it; 

and the winter passed, 

and the sun shone upon her." 

-J.R.R. Tolkien