PHYLLIS

I have a beautiful Grandma.

ON MY MIND

CHRISTMAS EVE

Moonlit ice, wax bleeding, sister, the book of John:

In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was with God in the beginning. Through him all things were made; without him nothing was made that has been made. In him was life, and that life was the light of all mankind. The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.

There was a man sent from God whose name was John. He came as a witness to testify concerning that light, so that through him all might believe. He himself was not the light; he came only as a witness to the light.

The true light that gives light to everyone was coming into the world. He was in the world, and though the world was made through him, the world did not recognize him. He came to that which was his own, but his own did not receive him. Yet to all who did receive him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God— children born not of natural descent, nor of human decision or a husband’s will, but born of God.

The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us. We have seen his glory, the glory of the one and only Son, who came from the Father, full of grace and truth.

(John testified concerning him. He cried out, saying, “This is the one I spoke about when I said, ‘He who comes after me has surpassed me because he was before me.’”) Out of his fullness we have all received grace in place of grace already given. For the law was given through Moses; grace and truth came through Jesus Christ. No one has ever seen God, but the one and only Son, who is himself God and is in closest 

relationship with the Father, has made him known.

COMPASS

Give me your lantern and compass,
    give me a map,
So I can find my way to the sacred mountain,
    to the place of your presence,
To enter the place of worship,
    meet my exuberant God,
Sing my thanks with a harp,
    magnificent God, my God.

AN INTERN

Peter told me to reflect, so I'm trying.

What have I learned between September and December? What have I learned? 

I reflect. 

I've learned that when I pray, my voice is heard and echoes, reaching past what my eyes see and into something unseen, something unseen, like wind, but deeper, penetrating. I've known this, but not at the depth that I do now, because when I pray, truly set aside time to intercede and glorify, I feel so connected to the Father. So close to his heart. 

I've seen people, hurting people, dying people, people that are two seconds from slipping off a bridge in suicide, people that want to belong, but are scared of vulnerability, people that wish and wish things were different, better, people that are afraid to come in the open, but instead hide behind obesity, disease, shame, people that have everything, but nothing at all, people that are sick, but don't know how sick they are, people that fight and fight for themselves, their selfishness, their ego, but don't have love to give, people that only have a pack of cigarettes and a battered pair of shoes, people lost, lost people. Scars, ink, piercings, dyes, brands, immodesty, ethnicity it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. They are all the same. A beautiful sameness. A sameness in the way that God sees them. I long to see them that way. 

I've learned that tight-knit community can cause many tears and bruises, but the glory and beauty that comes from it, is worth the challenge. Charissa, Crystal, Lizzie, Amber, Maddy, Laura, Georgia; beautiful women, roommates. 

I've learned that attics and stairwells are lovely places to be.

I've learned that there is gray between every black and white. And that's okay. It's a whole new way of seeing, to see without judgement, to listen and listen without speaking, to try and try to understand, and give grace over and over again. I'm not talking about tolerance, I'm talking about being Christ to all people. To love with eyes that don't condemn, but with eyes that see a soul, a friend, and can creatively express that sight. 

I've learned that going out on a limb to make someone's day, will actually make your own day. 

I've seen God answer my prayer from ten years ago. He gave me an older sister; Georgia. We have had a whole lot of belly laughs, and probing talks, and ridiculous moments never to live down. I'll miss her. 

I've learned that Jesus shows his love for me through a phone call every night. 

I'll keep reflecting. 

101.

There is an obscurely painted book atop my windowsill, marked pages; my thankful list.

I am thankful:
1. For a daddy, stories he reads, deep voice.

2. For a home, my own, open doors, inviting.

3. For Swedish and Polish blood I bleed.

4. For a garden, hands creased in soil.

5. For mountains, that inward calling.

6. For makeshift farmer's shops in truck-beds at intersections. 

7. For library books, shared thoughts.

8. For beloved illustration.

9. For standing beside brother, hand-song, voice-song, uniting.

10. For constellations from the deck.

11. For hands to stain with work.

12. For poppies.

13. For wool warmth. 

14. For well-written novels.

15. For hand-picked.

16. For cedar-scented patch-work.

17. For the feeling yellow gives.

18. For height differences.

19. For first flight, quilted earth. 

20. For pennies, found on every walk.

21. For ink shaped mountains.

22. For nestled close, guitar to strum.

23. For river tubing, long summers ago.

24. For daring Mulligan cuts. 

25. For a bed, unmade.

26. For island bonfires on the St. Croix.

27. For family.

28. For envisioning.

29. For new day's light.

30. For friends in threes. 

31. For pencil markings in margins.

32. For little rogues.

33. For tasting the dust of the road.

34. For hammock tranquility. 

35. For young Lewis and Clark in every boy. 

36. For air-dried on clothelines.

37. For summer docks, carefree. 

38. For casual embraces.

39. For woodpiles to chop.

40. For drive-ins from car hoods.

41. For the reflected.

42. For mornings that don't begin or end. 

43. For the simplicity of perfection.

44. For aerial sunsets.

45. For pockets large enough for books.

46. For those wild, brown eyes.

47. For falls to climb.

48. For a fisherman. 

49. For Jesus, freely.

50. For wood warmth.

51. For multitasking.

52. For child affection.

53. For enduring, cherished beloved.

54. For soaking release, thunder to follow.

55. For daddy's arms.

56. For the ethereal.

57. For papery beauty.

58. For long rides, nestled to rest.

59. For the sent and received. 

60. For father and son.

61. For stars, counted.

62. For little aprons and stools to reach.

63. For antlers, designer's eye.

64. For forest, riches of dark corners, light streams. 

65. For northern lights, such silken treasure. 

66. For chopping it short, free, free.

67. For trumpeting tummies that giggle.

68. For too many books at once.

69. For rooftop thoughts.

70. For the honey taste.

71. For dipping.

72. For curling steam, promising liquid. 

73. For pulling sister's curls.

74. For sea cottages.

75. For dog warmth.

76. For wood grain.

77. For climbing arched bark.

78. For preparing meals.

79. For perspectives.

80. For greenhouses to wander.

81. For pioneering artisans.

82. For handwritten, postage sent. 

83. For authenticity.

84. For electric shows. 

85. For catching owl songs.

86. For rambunctious neighbor boys.

87. For what can be made. 

88. For hand-pressed.

89. For photos that remember.

90. For beats. 

91. For straw hats.

92. For cliffs to jump. 

93. For seagull call.

94. For candle-guide.

95. For where God meets us.

96. For the story faced. 

97. For shades of blue.

98. For sun's touch. 

99. For musty-dust smitten.

100. For eccentric characters.

101. For what is shared.

I am thankful.

BETHLEHEM STORY UNTOLD

And a great sign appeared in heaven: a woman clothed with the sun, with the moon under her feet, and on her head a crown of twelve stars. She was pregnant and was crying out in birth pains and the agony of giving birth. And another sign appeared in heaven: behold, a great red dragon,with seven heads and ten horns, and on his heads seven diadems. His tail swept down a third of the stars of heaven and cast them to the earth. And the dragon stood before the woman who was about to give birth, so that when she bore her child he might devour it. She gave birth to a male child, one who is to rule all the nations with a rod of iron, but her child was caught up to God and to his throne, and the woman fled into the wilderness, where she has a place prepared by God, in which she is to be nourished for 1,260 days.

Now war arose in heaven, Michael and his angels fighting against the dragon. And the dragon and his angels fought back, but he was defeated, and there was no longer any place for them in heaven. And the great dragon was thrown down, that ancient serpent, who is called the devil and Satan, the deceiver of the whole world—he was thrown down to the earth, and his angels were thrown down with him. And I heard a loud voice in heaven, saying, “Now the salvation and the power and the kingdom of our God and the authority of his Christ have come, for the accuser of our brothers has been thrown down, who accuses them day and night before our God. And they have conquered him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony, for they loved not their lives even unto death. Therefore, rejoice, O heavens and you who dwell in them! But woe to you, O earth and sea, for the devil has come down to you in great wrath, because he knows that his time is short!”

And when the dragon saw that he had been thrown down to the earth, he pursued the woman who had given birth to the male child. But the woman was given the two wings of the great eagle so that she might fly from the serpent into the wilderness, to the place where she is to be nourished for a time, and times, and half a time. The serpent poured water like a river out of his mouth after the woman, to sweep her away with a flood. But the earth came to the help of the woman, and the earth opened its mouth and swallowed the river that the dragon had poured from his mouth. Then the dragon became furious with the woman and went off to make war on the rest of her offspring, on those who keep the commandments of God and hold to the testimony of Jesus. And he stood on the sand of the sea.

Revelation 12.